In order to prepare me for painting, I decided to flip through some photo albums. I looked at pictures of myself with my mom, cousins, my grandmothers, and aunties. I also have three daughters and I looked at many of their birth pictures and reflected on when they were first born and the time I got to hold them for the first time, their tiny heads fitting perfectly within my hand. I looked at pictures of them over the years to see how they continue to grow and reflect on how my oldest, now twelve, is beginning to take steps, albeit small steps, to independence and womanhood.
Throughout the painting process, I re-listened to Dr. Robin Kimmerer’s chapter, “A Mother’s Work”. This chapter spoke so many truths into my life as I have lived through some of them and have the honour to see strong women in my life in all of these different stages. Seeing the strong and resilient women in my life, spiraling out to live out who they are to be. Throughout the process, I couldn’t help but think of the 1000s of babies that never made it home from Residential schools and how children could not move through these steps as they were violently taken or how adults were crushed because of what was done, not only to them but to their children. This weighed heavy on my heart as I painted today and this is why there are 104 white dots on the painting to represent the 104 lives that were taken through genocide in Brandon, MB.
In the tightest of the spirals, when we are young, I have used darker colours as our life is seen as so black and white, which can be both a gift and a challenge at times. As we come to know ourselves, this begins to change. As we mother, whether that be our own children, children of our siblings or friends, or through other avenues, our world shifts and we are given the honour and privilege of service. This is where I live currently with three children I get to help guide and raise, a niece and a nephew, and so many of “my kids” at school. This circle gets wider and things seem so much less clear in terms of black and white but much more clear in terms of what is truly important. As we age, as I see this in the women who are older than me and women who I strive to learn from, we have the opportunity to have a wider reach and impact more and more, this may be humans or our non-human relatives. Within the painting, I have a central swirl but off of that, there are many swirls to represent the many lives we touch through our own lives lived. The chapter of "A Mother's Work" by Robin Kimmerer is here and she discusses the changing roles of women around the 47 minute mark (it is a computer reading it but you can hear her read it if you get the audiobook which I highly recommend)
I am humbled to be able to live through this spiral and see the legacy that has been left for me to learn from and lean on from other women and beings that have gone before me. This chapter of Braiding Sweetgrass spoke to me as I realize that I get to have that long-lasting impact on others and it is important to live my life as a celebration, with ceremony, gratitude, and an open heart in order to live the influence that I want to leave for others who come after me.
“The circle of care grows larger… being a good mother doesn’t end with creating a home where just my children can flourish. A good mother grows into a richly eutrophic old woman, knowing that her work doesn’t end until she creates a home where all of life’s beings can flourish.”
